Loneliness is terrible for your health
The risks associated with social isolation and loneliness are comparable to well-known risk factors like smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
Loneliness is typically defined as a subjective feeling of being alone or disconnected from others. It involves feeling a lack of meaningful social connections and a sense of belonging. Others may surround a person but still feel lonely if their need for social interaction and connection is unmet. Loneliness reflects a discrepancy between one's desired and actual level of social interaction.
Loneliness is an emotional response.
“Loneliness happens when the social connections that people want don’t match their actual experience of relationships with others.
People describe thoughts and feelings of loneliness with words like anxiety, fear, shame and helplessness. These powerful emotions can influence how we act. They can create a downward spiral where loneliness causes someone to withdraw further from family and friends and so become lonelier.
Loneliness can affect how we anticipate and interpret our social experiences. This can mean we are more apprehensive or fearful of social situations or pick up on social rejection cues too readily. Another way that loneliness can worsen is if we see the cause of our loneliness as something that will not change: that it is just part of who we are or of becoming older.”
However, our emotions also have a direct connection to our physical health.
The risks associated with social isolation and loneliness are comparable to well-known risk factors like smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Specifically, social isolation can nearly double the risk of premature death, increase the risk of dementia by 50%, heart disease by 29%, and stroke by 32%. Loneliness is also linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. Furthermore, loneliness among heart failure patients can quadruple the risk of death and significantly increase the likelihood of hospitalisation and emergency visits.
Social isolation and loneliness are serious public health concerns. These implications highlight the importance of recognising prolonged loneliness as a significant factor in health, potentially leading to decreased mental and physical health and even premature death.
Combined with this is the rise in loneliness experienced in older age, so the elderly may be more susceptible to health concerns. 40% of adults over 65 report being lonely at least sometimes, with loneliness gradually diminishing through the middle adult years and increasing as we pass 70 years old.
“Social isolation (the objective state of having few social relationships or infrequent social contact with others) and loneliness (a subjective feeling of being isolated) are serious yet underappreciated public health risks that affect a significant portion of the older adult population.”
It is no wonder that Mother Teresa once described loneliness as the leprosy of the West. No matter your wealth or status, loneliness affects us. I’ve met very wealthy business people and sat in the dust with those who have almost nothing. Yet, their comparative wealth did not determine their human relationships, contentment or happiness.
My father died last year, aged 93, after many years of very poor health. He was almost entirely blind and suffered dementia and other significant health issues that impacted his quality of life. My Mum, now 92, lives independently at home. She has a small friendship group of similarly aged people she socialises with and is active in several local community groups.
The US National Council on Ageing says that:
“With the widowhood effect, older adults grieving a spouse’s death have an increased risk of dying compared to those whose spouses are living. This effect has been documented by researchers. A 2013 study showed that people had a 66% increased mortality risk within the first 90 days of losing their spouse. These results held true for both men and women.
A previous study from 2008 drew a similar conclusion, finding that surviving spouses had a 30-90% increased mortality risk within the first three months following the death of their spouse.”
It seems that there is no definitive reason for the widowhood effect, although various factors might come into play:
The physical and mental tolls of being a caregiver.
The physiological impact of grief.
A lack of social support.
Changes in environment
However, it seems time really does heal:
“Human beings are resilient creatures with the power to find joy and new meaning in life even after a painful loss. In one study on grief, clinical psychologist George A. Bonanno found that acute grief symptoms eased for 50% of participants by six months after a loss. Although thoughts of your spouse may be painful at first, focusing on good memories and positive emotions can help you find the peace you deserve.”
Worryingly, loneliness is also increasing amongst younger people, so while we have long understood loneliness in older people and the implications, now we may need to be turning our attention to those only starting their life journey.
The Irish Institute of Public Health has found the rate of loneliness remains relatively steady in older people but is sharply rising in the young.
“Loneliness is increasing more among 18 to 34 year olds than for any other age group and is emerging as a "very serious public health issue", according to the Institute of Public Health (IPH).
"All the focus has been on older people and perhaps we have been neglecting the impact of loneliness and isolation on our younger people," consultant psychiatrist at St James's hospital, Prof Brian Lawlor said.
Data from Prof Roger O’Sullivan of the Institute of Public Health in 2018 showed that three per cent of 18 to 34 year olds said they were lonely “all or most of the time”. By November 2020 this had risen to 26 per cent.
If the figures for those who felt lonely “some of the time” are included 80 per cent of young people felt lonely “some” or “all or most of the time” in November 2020, compared with 33 per cent in 2018.”
I look at my two older children, now aged 26 and 23, and often marvel at their many intertwining relationships with their peers. One of my great joys is how they are the complete opposite of me. I have written previously about the loneliness created by my peripatetic school years and how thrilled I have been that my children have benefitted from growing up in the same place and attending only two schools each. They both have friendships and social networks dating back many years and, in some cases, still regularly socialise with people they were at school with when they were very young.
Yet, having spent time reading about loneliness in young people, I may need to stop assuming all is well with the connections and relationships my kids have around them and take more time to talk with them.
Loneliness affects young people in several ways, impacting their mental health and social behaviours. The changing dynamics of relationships and family structures, such as delayed marriages and the prevalence of casual relationships, may contribute to feelings of loneliness and the associated mental health challenges.
Whilst I know my kids are intelligent, well-informed, curious and self-sufficient, I should not rely on my perhaps misplaced assumptions. I have not talked enough with my kids about how my separation from their mother has, in turn, affected their friendships. It’s a no-brainer that loneliness negatively affects mental health - and social media and other poor-quality references may compound this.
In Melbourne, we experienced some of the longest lockdowns of any city in the world during the height of COVID in 2020. These lockdowns had a significant impact on the mental health of children and adolescents. Studies have demonstrated that the stringent measures and the first complete lockdown in places like England exacerbated mental health and behavioural issues in children ages 4 to 10, leading to problems ranging from hyperactivity to depression.
However, the data is sometimes conflicting in that there was information asserting an existing rise in mental disorders amongst young people before the pandemic, and some of those kids may actually have benefited from the isolation.
“One study of students in England and Wales, for example, found little change in the mental health of students between October 2019, the date of the initial survey, and April 2020, during the first complete lockdown — with one exception. ‘When you split by mental health pre-pandemic, those who were struggling with depression pre-pandemic were doing better.’”
The lack of social interaction, the rise in stress and anxiety due to the pandemic, and the helplessness felt by many contributed to psychological distress, particularly among those already vulnerable due to existing mental health difficulties.
More than a third of high school students reported experiencing poor mental health, and 44% reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness during the pandemic in 2021. The disruption of routines, grief, fear, uncertainty, and increased screen time compounded these issues, while the loss of stabilising forces such as friendships and family support also played a role.
The pandemic is very recent; I am sure we will be learning about the impacts on the mental state and health of people of all ages for many years as researchers study the long-term effects.
"Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self." — May Sarton
Next time: My story of Christmas Loneliness
Another fantastic story. Thanks for your story writing and willingness to share.