We Rise by Lifting Others: The Quiet Power of Mutual Support
The remarkable thing about lifting others is that it's one of those rare strategies that benefits everyone involved.
This is the sixth in a series of articles about ten qualities of a good human - dimensions of character to cultivate over a lifetime.
I’m a big believer in mentoring and supporting those who are coming along behind me. In my work life, I’ve often done mentoring sessions with people working in new startups, endeavouring to contribute my experience, good and bad, helpfully. I find this extremely rewarding, and I’m hopeful it will become a more formal and organised activity for me in the coming years. I love hearing their passion and new ideas, even though my role often involves tempering that enthusiasm with some reality checks.
Even so, I still make sure I maintain a positive approach and offer them pathways forward. The last thing I want to do is dissuade them from seeking to innovate and grow. It’s a tricky balance, because everything in my experience says that whatever business they want to start, it will be a grind, it will take longer, cost more, and they will likely pay a price. Perhaps time away from their family. Less money coming in personally. There will be sacrifices. But the entrepreneur’s journey was never meant to be easy.
One thing I always highlight is that going it alone is a tough road to walk. There's a common idea that standing on your own two feet is the ultimate achievement, especially in cultures that prize individualism. Yet real success is rarely born out of a solo act. Robert Ingersoll, the 19th-century American lawyer and orator, said:
"The superior man is the providence of the inferior. He is eyes for the blind, strength for the weak, and a shield for the defenseless. He stands erect by bending above the fallen. He rises by lifting others."
John F Kennedy distilled it famously to "A rising tide lifts all boats."
No matter which thinker you care to follow, the wisdom is very powerful. This isn’t just feel-good philosophy; this is how the world works. And in an era when individualism seems predominant over the needs of the community, I think we need to consider that when you genuinely invest in helping others succeed, grow, and thrive, something remarkable happens. You don't just feel good about yourself - you actually create conditions that make your own success more likely, more sustainable, and infinitely more meaningful.
One fallacy is that this is a zero-sum game; for one to win, another must lose, which is quite plainly wrong. Just because someone else is victorious, it does not mean your opportunity must be diminished. We need more "we're all in this together", rather than "me versus the world". There’s a mindset shift required because when it is applied at scale, it can transform lives, communities, and the way we see ourselves.
I’ve had some fun diving down research rabbit holes for this article. There’s some super interesting research around how our brains really like being nice to others (I’m paraphrasing the long scientific explanations!).
It’s long been known that when you help someone else succeed, those acts of kindness and support trigger the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin - essentially giving you a natural high that rivals any external achievement.
“Researchers in Great Britain had participants take a survey measuring life satisfaction, then they assigned all 86 participants to one of three groups. One group was instructed to perform a daily act of kindness for the next 10 days. Another group was also told to do something new each day over those 10 days. A third group received no instructions.
After the 10 days were up, the researchers asked the participants to complete the life satisfaction survey again.
The groups that practiced kindness and engaged in novel acts both experienced a significant—and roughly equal—boost in happiness; the third group didn’t get any happier.”
Neuroscientists have discovered that acts of kindness and support trigger the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin - essentially giving you a natural high that rivals any external achievement. Research also shows that empathy itself involves specific neural networks in the brain, including the anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula, and that these empathy-related networks can be developed and strengthened through practice and experience.
I’ve taken this from the conclusions from "How we empathize with others: A neurobiological perspective":
“Neuroimaging studies indicate that the same areas of the brain are activated when people experience their own emotions and when they observe such emotions in others. Sharing an emotional state with others is, thus, an important aspect of empathizing. The ACC, the AI, and the somatosensory cortex take part in this process. Understanding of others’ feelings by taking their perspective is another vital factor in empathizing.”
And check out the last couple of sentences:
“In addition, the sex of the observer is also important; women usually have a greater level of empathy than men, regardless of whether they like or dislike the person they empathize with. The empathic responses in men depend on the perceived fairness of others.”
I’m going to ponder some more on the comment about men and their perception of fairness.
This all means being nice to people, having empathy, and providing support leads to rewiring the part of your own brain associated with empathy, problem-solving, and social connection. These are handy tools that help people achieve success. Having a positive mindset helps your well-being.
I’ve now also learnt the term “eudaimonic wellbeing" - and its companion “hedonic wellbeing”:
“Hedonic happiness is about maximizing pleasure and minimizing displeasure. It is a subjective form of wellbeing, measured by cognitive evaluations of life satisfaction and by the predominance of negative or positive affect. It also tends to be associated with sensual desire fulfillment, although it can take other forms, too.
“Eudemonia has been translated as happiness, wellbeing, welfare, thriving, fulfillment, or flourishing. In the popular imagination, eudemonia is also firmly linked to the notion of the “good life.”
I’m not sure there is anything inherently wrong with either; however, I’d argue that eudaimonic is the path I believe, or at least hope, I have taken. It doesn’t exclude pleasurable experiences, indeed, I’d suggest it leads to more.
Helping others is a two-way street, not a competition. Assisting others to lift yourself as well. When you lend a hand, you're not only offering support - you're creating a connection, a moment of shared purpose that can motivate both giver and receiver.
That helping hand also has a ripple effect; helping someone might motivate them in turn to help another. The effect can be exponential. And I don’t just mean in your personal life. There’s a term named “ripple effect mapping”:
"Ripple effect mapping is a powerful technique to document the impacts of a project or program. But REM also engages and re-energizes community members who need a shot in the arm as they get things done."
In other words, when people experience genuine support, they don't just benefit from it; they're actively inspired to pay it forward. Being lifted up gives them both the capacity and the desire to lift others.
Of course, you likely never see the full extent. Helping someone today might lead them to pursue alternative trajectories that don’t come to fruition until much later, and perhaps in unexpected ways. This highlights the importance of non-reciprocality - we should never help someone in the expectation of receiving something directly in return.
It's important to acknowledge that support can look different for everyone. Some people thrive with direct advice, while others prefer quiet encouragement, practical help, or simply being heard without judgment. In communities that recognise diversity, equity, and inclusion, support means respecting these differences and meeting people where they are, regardless of ability, background, gender, or circumstance.
Mentoring is my most direct way to lift others in my professional life. I’ve found it challenging on occasion. I need to remember I am not seeking to create others in my mould; instead, I aim to give them ideas that will lead them to discover and develop their unique strengths, perspectives, and approaches.
It’s widely accepted in the business world that company executives should have a mentor or coach. Someone independent of the business, but who can provide a sounding board and insights, to assist the mentee to ensure they maintain a broad perspective, and to challenge them on occasion to consider differing options.
But even if you are not a high-flying executive, you can still seek support from those around you at work. Look to people willing to share what they have learnt, to provide feedback, and to create a safe space for asking questions.
Whilst my mentees might ask to meet me because they’ve read my LinkedIn, I always need to ensure my ego is kept in check. This is not me showing off or trumpeting my expertise. My role is to create opportunities for people to find their way by sharing my experience, which can help others avoid pitfalls, spark new ideas, and build confidence.
The best mentors understand that they learn as much from their mentees as they teach. They approach mentoring relationships with curiosity and openness, recognising that different generations, backgrounds, and perspectives bring valuable insights that can enhance their own understanding and capabilities.
Sometimes my mentoring is as simple as connecting them to someone I know, to open some doors that might otherwise be closed to them. Seldom are there grand gestures; instead, I see my mentoring as small nudges that I believe are strategically important.
It's worth recognising that creating opportunities isn't a one-size-fits-all exercise. For some, it might mean making events more accessible for people with disabilities, championing LGBTQIA+ representation, or simply respecting personal boundaries and consent. Building inclusive spaces isn't just good manners - it's essential for a community where everyone can flourish.
A community isn't just a collection of individuals, but a living network of care and trust. When you invest in others, you strengthen these threads, making the whole fabric more resilient.
As the Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh reflected:
"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce... You take care of it. You never blame the lettuce."
Communities thrive on care, not criticism.
Supportive communities are those where people are celebrated for who they are, not just what they contribute. That means listening to people whose voices have often been marginalised, making room for the full spectrum of human experience, and remembering that belonging looks different for everyone.
When you lift others, you're doing something much more significant than helping individuals; you're actively strengthening the fabric of your communities, making them more resilient, more adaptive, and more capable of weathering challenges together. This community-building aspect of mutual support is perhaps one of its most underappreciated benefits.
Think about communities that have weathered major crises well, whether that's natural disasters, economic downturns, or social upheavals. The communities that bounce back fastest and strongest aren't necessarily those with the most resources or the best infrastructure. They're the communities where people have established patterns of supporting each other, where mutual aid is a normal part of life.
The most effective supportive communities share several characteristics. They're built on genuine relationships rather than transactional exchanges. They celebrate diverse perspectives and approaches rather than demanding conformity. They focus on lifting everyone up rather than creating hierarchies or competition. And they balance individual growth with collective well-being.
Strong, supportive communities also become incubators for innovation and creativity. When people feel secure in their relationships and confident that others will support their efforts, they're more willing to take risks, try new approaches, and share bold ideas. They're more likely to collaborate across differences and combine diverse perspectives in ways that generate breakthrough solutions.
My substack is called ‘Alone Rangers’ (and yes, it’s a play on The Lone Ranger). I know previously I have tended to go it alone. It’s always easy in hindsight to see what might appear to be self-evident, yet in the milieu of life, it is overlooked. So, I've struggled in previous years to foster strong connections with good people. I didn’t understand that when you lift others, you rise together.
Maybe subconsciously, I thought I’d be losing myself, or sacrificing something. That’s flat out wrong. I needed to realise that it's about making room for others as you climb, and recognising that every act of support, no matter how small, builds a more connected, compassionate world.
Today, I understand that helping others doesn't shrink your own success. Quite the opposite: it creates positive cycles where individual achievement and collective wellbeing reinforce each other. When you support someone else, you're also boosting your own sense of purpose, fulfilment, and connection. This creates what researchers call "social capital" - the networks of relationships and mutual trust that make communities function effectively.
The challenge is to notice the opportunities - large or small - to make a difference in someone's day, to share a little knowledge, or to stand up for inclusion and respect. This shift from purely individualistic thinking to recognising the interconnectedness of human experience isn't just morally satisfying; it's a crucial element of our complex world.
Importantly, this isn't about transactional thinking or doing good for the sake of personal gain. It's about recognising our shared humanity, the reality that everyone, at some point, needs a lift. When we commit to each other's success, everyone wins.
The beautiful thing about lifting others is that you don't need special qualifications, significant resources, or formal authority to start. Some of the most impactful ways to support others are surprisingly simple and can be integrated into your daily life.
Start by paying attention to the people around you. What are they struggling with? What are they trying to achieve? Share your knowledge generously. If you've figured out how to navigate a particular system, mastered a specific skill, or overcome a common challenge, others can benefit from your experience.
Make strategic introductions. One of the most powerful things I do is act as a connector. I often introduce one person to another, both in my professional and personal lives, because they might benefit from knowing one another. I have developed a reputation for this because, quite often, someone will ask me if I can introduce them to someone I know.
It’s essential to ensure your help doesn’t come with a price that the other must pay - I mentioned the altruistic component earlier. But this means sometimes the most helpful way you can help someone is to offer active listening and encouragement - to pay attention to what another person is saying, to listen and understand their ideas and aspirations. You should ask questions to help frame your response, to help people think through their goals and challenges.
Albert Einstein was quoted in Life magazine in 1955, saying:
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives.”
I love the idea of being a person of value, in other words, a good human. Someone whose presence makes situations better, whose involvement makes projects more successful.
Being alone doesn't mean being isolated, and independence doesn't require indifference. In fact, some of the most meaningful moments in life come when you reach out and lift someone else. By building relationships based on mutual respect, sharing what you know, and creating space for everyone to grow, you're not just supporting others - you're helping yourself and your community thrive.
The remarkable thing about lifting others is that it's one of those rare strategies that benefits everyone involved - the ripple effect is real. You become more skilled, more connected, more purposeful, and more successful. The people you support grow, thrive, and achieve things they might not have accomplished alone. The communities and organisations you're part of become more collaborative, more innovative, and more effective. And the world becomes a bit more supportive and a bit less competitive.
We rise by lifting others, not because it's a nice moral principle, but because it's how human progress actually works.
For more information about Australia's Loneliness Awareness Week and to find events in your area, visit Ending Loneliness Together. To explore activities and resources, check out lonelinessawarenessweek.com.au.